I am realizing that as I grow up life becomes more routine. It is harder to be spontaneous. It is harder to have child like faith. Temptations and doubt become giant tidal waves that I face in the midst of life. I forget the importance faith. I yearn for these moments of triumphant victory, I desire to see Gods hand move in miraculous ways. Yet my yearning is nothing if I do not actually take the time to spend time with my Father. I run towards these moments. Expecting to see the beauty without going through the pain. I want to see the sunset. I chase the sunsets. I desperately want to take in the beauty as much as I can before the night rages on. I want to be found in those moments.I want to live my life through works and sacrifices so I can have those moments. I think that as long as the blessings and beauty abounds I will be okay. But its the moment the sun goes down and the dark sky creeps in I loose hope. I forget it is about the relationship; the journey. I proceed with my head down going once more through the motions of life. I do not want to live my life this way. I realize this is such a big temptation. As soon as the holidays role around and life just gets busier we have excuses to go through the motions. Excuses to not take time to let Jesus in. It all ends in hopeless stress. Galatians 5:1;13 says,
"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery. For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not us your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."
I have to remind myself the Author of Life has not made me to be a sunset chaser. Chasing the sunset trying to find myself in those moments. Trying to see the beautiful outcome before the journey. For we only have the few moments God gives. Do not let the motions of life become your excuse. For we are free. Free to have faith. Free to pursue a relationship with Christ. This has been my theme since summer. I have written the same prayers and had the realizations that now is the moment to follow God. Yet it was hard to take the time to truly spend time with my Father. We will have moments where we use our freedom as freedom to live for now; the temporary. Do not get discouraged. Christ died to give us grace so we could get back up. For he desires our hearts more than our actions. Our actions will surly reflect our hearts. I think in the world today we want to see our outcomes; our future. That we forget the now moments.
"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings."