The Single Season of Life

The past two years of college has taught me a lot on how to be single well. Singleness can be portrayed as a lonely season of life where love is dumb and no where in site. What if God had more for this season than just feeling depressed?    In the midst of this crazy but beautiful season of singleness there can be abundance and joy. This post is special, because it is a mixture of the books, sermons, and conversations that have deepened my knowledge on what it truly means to be single and pursue Jesus in the midst of it. So grab your cold brew, sit down, and feel free to ponder with me as we dive into this post. 

Lesson #1: This season is a gift. Why do we spend so much time worrying about the gift of marriage when we have been given the gift of singleness? God loves to give gifts and like any good gift giver God wants to provide what you desire most. However, He already gave to us what we wanted most: Himself; Jesus. Now we can live life from the abundance of the Holy Spirit. God wants us to enjoy that abundance just you and him.  As much as it is about Gods plan for us to be in relationships, our life is not always about the desire you have for relationship. At the end of the day what our true heart’s desire is Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and God our Father. So why wait until you are married to discover that the only one who can satisfy your soul has been with you the whole time?

I have found that the continual contentment found in God’s presence is too sweet to pass up. From the presence of Jesus comes security in your true identity and boldness to take hold of the gifts and callings he has placed over your life. Eventually, our pursuit for someone to satisfy our heart becomes a lifelong pursuit for more of God because he is already satisfying your soul. Then we no longer live for ourselves and approach relationships with a selfish mindset. We are able to take hold of relationships with a selfless and God centered mindset.

When we are finally in initiate relationship, our significant other does not consume our identity. We know who we are in Christ. I believe this established confidence in our identity, makes it easier to be in a healthy relationship.  (Lesson 1B friendship is key). It is important that we daily start our day with a posture of knowing Gods love intimately, so we can be reminded of our identity in Christ and pour it out on others.

Lesson #2: Letting God satisfy our hearts does not mean we will be absent from our physical and emotional desire for a relationship. We are human and are naturally deigned to connect to others in this way. It is okay to be in places of want for relationship. There will be those depressing single nights where all you want to do is cry and watch The Notebook (Speaking for all the ladies in the house!).  However, we must not allow these desires to hijack our pursuit for Jesus. As His children we need to learn to wait well, because God gives us friendships and opportunities that are best.  Our heightened desires may not mean that our future husband is on the way. However, these heightened desires will always give us an opportunity to press into God who knows us the best.

Lesson #3: To have faith. At the end of the day Jesus wants us to have faith that he will provide. When we ask him for things we must have faith. To be honest it has been hard for me to have faith that God will provide a husband for me. For me having faith in God to provide a husband was me taking the time to pray for him. To me it seemed pointless to pray for someone that may not exist. However, even if I do not end up getting married, I get to be a part of the bride of Christ. It is not stupid or lame for me to ask and pray with faith for someone, for it all still glorifies God. At the end of the day God cares about the posture of my heart rather than me asking for the right things. As his daughter it lights up the Father's heart when I get to ask with faith for relationships he has designed me to have. At the end of the day he is pleased that despite my request, I still choose to know Gods love and allow it to satisfy the depths of my heart.

I know at the end of the day we always hear marriage is not everything. Yet somehow, we always go back to it as our everything or deepest desire that needs to be satisfied. No matter where you are at remember that Jesus is truly your friend and wants you to delight in intimate relationship with him. This blog post may be something we always hear when the church talks about relationships, but do we truly live it out?